The Seven Cats of Comms

The Seven Cats of Comms

You'll be catatonic

Following on from the Seven Dogs of Content, here are seven comms, PR and marketing specialists as demonstrated by cat breeds.

1. Siamese

The always-on social media maven

Sleek, sweet and spirited, this breed is known for its vocalisations and will chat with its humans day and night, cultivating its social petwork. Siamese like to be the centre of attention. Reliable on most channels but occasionally confused by Twitter, launching murderous and ultimately painful attacks on its logo.

2. Russian Blue

The undercover operator

Elegant but reserved, this troll farm cat denies all knowledge of dirty tricks in the Trump 2016 campaign, while guzzling Beluga caviar. Sorry, Blue-ga. Now what were you saying about Hillary Clinton and that nice Mr Putin?

3. Bengal

The crisis communications expert

This is no laptop cat. High energy levels mean the Bengal needs a lot of playtime. If not, your sofa gets it. They’re muscular and can wriggle through a cat-proof fence, even opening doors and windows. But when the client’s CEO is arrested for shoplifting Andrex in Asda, they’ll be there, fighting the good fight. Easy, tiger.

4.  Domestic Shorthair (Black)

The practitioner of PR dark arts

Mysterious, deep and enigmatic, this smooth mouser gets its claws out late into the night when more timid felines are dozing in their house-cat baskets dreaming of Sheba and always-on central heating. Will drip poison into journalists’ ears for king prawns. The cat with nine lies.

5. Chinchilla

The luxury goods PRrrr

The sweet-talker of comms pussies, this is more than just a pretty face. The ideal front-person for a luxury goods brand as long as you can keep it in tubs of Purina Gold. Its thick, lustrous fur requires extensive grooming. More high maintenance than its clients and leaves more fur on your keyboard.

6. Short-haired tortoiseshell and white

The public affairs purrsuader

Tortoiseshells tend to be feisty and strong-willed. They are louder and more dominant than lesser moggies and fiercely independent. They also demand head rubs. And if none of that gets the favourable coverage they need, they’ll sleep on your chest breathing sardine fumes.

7. Oriental

The influencer and outreach maestro

Thinks working with key stakeholders means stealing beef. This street-wise dustbin-rifler has the gift of the gab when it comes to getting 18-year-olds with a billion followers to endorse your client’s product. But you’ll have kittens when you see the bill. In fact, you'll be cat-atonic.

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